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How to get ghosted in 10 days

college culture


Loyola University Maryland


- experimental

How to get ghosted in 10 days

Because committed relationships are too spooky

Marley Scheld


In today's dating world, we use our phones to help us start new relationships. Whether it be on a dating app like Tinder or Bumble, or even meeting someone at the bar and getting their number, we have so many ways to meet new people to date. But it can be so exhausting!

Keeping up with constant snapchats and making empty plans to meet up can really take a beating on your social life. This Halloween, I wanted to share with you how to get ghosted in 10 Days because there's nothing scarier than a committed relationship.

DAY ONE: Snapchat him too much

Let's start off slow by doing something we all know how to do: obsessive snapchatting. Make sure when you get his username, you don't stop sending anything. Send him mirror selfies, pictures of all the work you have to do, and throw in a few shots of that dog you saw walking around campus. Definitely throw in the dog filter at least seven times (that's a given), and frequently check his whereabouts on Snap Map so you can always throw in stalker-ish comments on what he's doing.

DAY TWO: Don't text him back

He'll want to text you to "get to know you" because he thinks you've "really hit it off." When he asks you a question, wait at least three hours to answer. Say things like "sorry I was showering!" before you reply to his message. While you're completely ignoring his texts, still continue to snap him back, though. Never forget about the obsessive snapping.

DAY THREE: Girly things

Remember ladies, masculinity is fragile, so it's important to throw in all the girly things you can think of. In your conversation, constantly bring up things like tampons and Project Runway that will make him uncomfortable. You can even bring up past relationships and complain about how no one ever listened to your real emotions. Bonus points if you can integrate Adele lyrics into your conversations.

DAY FOUR: Netflix and Chill chick-flicks

For one of your first dates, bring him to your dorm to watch Netflix. Again, use the power of girly things to bring him down. Suggest binging TV shows like The Carrie Diaries, Riverdale, or Glee. If he wants to sit through a movie, browse the Romance category on Netflix and watch things like Twilight, The Hannah Montana Movie (bonus points if you get up and do the Hoedown Throwdown), and 13 Going on 30.

DAY FIVE: Food issues

There isn't anything more frustrating than dating someone with extreme food issues. The best way to achieve this step is by going on a date to Clark Burger and only ordering salad. Pretend that you're vegan or gluten-free, and he might get spooked by that. Make sure to also patronize him for eating animal products and harming the environment.

DAY SIX: Share a really bad Spotify playlist

Tell him you made a Spotify playlist that reminded you of him, and have too many songs by Lana del Rey on it. Maybe throw in Closer by the Chainsmokers, some heavy metal, and a song by the famous drag star Rupaul. He'll be left wondering what each of these songs mean about him. This step is a fun way to get creative and really add an eclectic variety of music that will have him ghosting you in no time.

DAY SEVEN: Make up stories about yourself

If he still continues talking to you at this point, start telling him lies that make you seem insane. Tell him about how Owen Wilson is your #1 celebrity crush and the movie Cars was your sexual awakening. Tell him about the time your ex-boyfriend tried to stab your mother with a fork but you still continued to date him. Tell him that you work the night shift at Chuck E. Cheese, even though it closes at 8. This is your moment to really shine and become your truest crazy person you've always wanted to become.

DAY EIGHT: Invite him to Halloween Rally

If he's stayed with you for this long, things might be getting serious. It's time to take it to the next level and go to Halloween Rally together. While you're there, complain about how his costume isn't fun and it would've been cute to dress up as a couple. Make him feel bad for not wanting to go as Betty and Jughead from Riverdale after you binged the first 3 episodes four days ago.

DAY NINE: Get way too attached

Day nine is where it's starting to get serious, and you really need to pick up the pace. Text him as often as possible. Snapchat him even more. Send him a screenshot of his Snap Map and say "why are you at Wine Underground without me hahaha?" Talk to him about your graduation plans and imply that you want to move in together (even if graduation is 3 years down the line). Give him some good spooks that will really scare him into ghosting you once and for all.

DAY TEN: Just end it

Girl, if he keeps talking to you after you went through all of that, just drop him. Tell him you just want to see other people at the moment. Or don't tell him anything at all. Maybe you're the one doing the ghosting after all (and then you'll get some pretty dramatic snapchats directed at you).